Humorous UPS Mechanic
Just in case you need a laugh: Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one…a reassurance to
those of us who fly routinely in our jobs.
After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a ‘gripe sheet,’ which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.
Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS’ pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.
By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, /ever/, had an accident.
Here goes:
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
*
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
*
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
*
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
*
P: Auto pilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent…
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
*
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
*
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
*
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That’s what friction locks are /for/.
*
P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF /always/ inoperative in OFF mode.
*
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you’re right.
*
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
*
P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!):
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.
*
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
*
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
*
And the best one for last -
*
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget .
Related articles
- Aircraft Safety: Man Versus Machine (tripbase.com)
- It’s classified. I could tell you, but then I’d have to kill you. (tradetalknow.com)
- The Truth Behind Aircraft Bird Strikes (tripbase.com)
I’ve been reading your blog site, and it’s varied and fun. I love how you’ve mixed it all together. Thanks!
Thanks so much Teresa and you are very welcome
Have fun! Talk to you soon!
Thanks for laugh, it was great stuff! By the way, QANTAS in Australia has never had an accident either thankfully, so maybe we should go looking for their maintenance sheets and compare! lol
You’re welcome and Oh yeah that will be great if you could get to look on their maintenance sheets so we have something to compare with…lol
i’m happy you liked this post… thanks so much
Haha, extremely funny!
Yes it is, hehehe, i’m glad you liked it. Thanks
Thank you for a wonderful start to a day! Loved it!
You’re very welcome Bonnie as always
Thanks and have fun
Hysterical..and I’m gonna share with my pilot friend.
Oh please do, hehehe Thanks for the liked
have fun!
Laugh of the day! Thanks
You’re very welcome. Have fun
“Suspect you’re right”, “Aircraft warned to straighten up”!!! Hilarious! And taking the safety factor into consideration [that they've never ever had an accident!], maybe we should all do our jobs with a touch of humor!
Thanks Marina for liking this post. We all need Humor in our life
This was really a great post. It made my day filled with laughter….really good.
I’m glad Clive
Thanks for your visit and you’re always welcome!
Dolly
I love people with a sense of humor!
Me too
Thanks so much, I’m happy you liked this post…
Have fun!
Seen this before but it still makes me laugh!!
Thanks for the liked
Reblogged this on The Blogspaper.
Thanks so much for the re-blogged
I appreciate this a lot!
Love it, I have an, almost, identical thing, on my facebook notes
x
These mechanics need a TV show of their own!
hehehehe
You just said it Linda… thanks for the liked. Have a great day!
These are too funny! I love it! Thanks so much for sharing!
You’re welcome Michael, thanks for the liked
Those are great. “took away hammer from midget.” thought I was going to start crying!
hehehhe, i’m glad
Thanks for the liked …
I did cry, by the time I got to that one I had tears running down my cheeks,
lol, good laugh Katrina…I’m happy about that
Thanks. Enjoy your weekend and have fun!
Dolly
LOL glad my packages are in good hands
Yes they are
Thanks for the liked…
LOL!! I love it!! Thanks for posting this….made my night
You’re welcome Sarah, thanks