RED SKELTON’S RECIPE:
For those of you old enough to remember Red Skelton, I think you will enjoy today’s Manic Monday. For those of you not old enough you will see what you missed. Either way, his humor was always clean and he was a great entertainer. A re-run of great ‘one liner’s’ from the man who was known for his clean humor. I hope you get a chuckle or two reading them once more.
RED SKELTON’S RECIPE
FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE
Red Skelton 1913-1997
1.
Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a
little beverage, good food and companionship.
She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.
2.
We also sleep in separate beds.
Hers is in California, and mine is in Texas.
3.
I take my wife everywhere,
but she keeps finding her way back.
4.
I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.
“Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!” she said.
So I suggested the kitchen.
5.
We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
6.
She has an electric blender, electric
toaster and electric bread maker.
She said “There are too many gadgets, and no place
to sit down!” So I bought her an electric chair.
7.
My wife told me the car wasn’t running well
because there was water in the carburetor.
I asked where the car was. She told me, “In the lake.”
8.
She got a mud pack and looked great for two days.
Then the mud fell off.
9.
She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, “Am I too late
for the garbage?” The driver said, “No, jump in!”.
10.
Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
11.
I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her
first name was ‘Always’.
12.
I haven’t spoken to my wife in 18 months.
I don’t like to interrupt her.
13.
The last fight was my fault though.
My wife asked, “What’s on the TV?”
I said, “Dust!”.
To those of you who have known this man and watched his T.V. shows, can’t
you just hear him say all of these?
These were the good old days when humor didn’t have to start
with a four letter word.
I love it even though I just read all about him from a mail that I received from a friend.
It
was just clean and simple fun.
And my friend said that
he always ended his programs with the words,
“And May God Bless”
with
a big smile on his face.
Enjoy your weekdays! mmwahhh 
I love you guys! mmwahhh!
Thank you. I miss this amazing actor and comedian. I watched him as a a kid growing up. I like his logic on marriage..
Thanks John for sharing your thoughts and I’m happy to know about it
You’re so welcome too as always! xoxo
Hahaha Dolly…. They are all so funny…. Happy weekdays to you… mmwwaaahhhhhh…. xoxoxo
And Happy weekdays to you too Carol! Enjoy!
xoxo
He was funny, intelligent, very good-looking, and a genius. He reminds me of Mac Giggles, though not that great, of course… : P
Hahaha thanks Mark but to me, no one would exceed Mac Giggles’ sense of humor
Reblogged this on Oyia Brown.
Thanks for re-blogged dear
Hi Dolly,
Thanks for bringing up great memories of Red Skelton. He was a hoot!
You’re very welcome Tracy
mmwaaaah… and thanks! xoxo
Yes I remember. I could hear him and funny he made me thing of Phylis Diller talking about her husband Fang. Good ol’ days.
I loved Red Skelton! And his characters!
Love this thanks. When I was about 10 years old my mother who worked for Bill Harrah as a roulette dealer was able to get me to go backstage for one of Red Skelton’s shows at Harrah’s Casino in Lake Tahoe. I got to meet him and his wife in their dressing room. Red was and his wife were both wearing bathrobes and were winding down after the fantastic live show they had performed and he sat with me and tried to make conversation. I was pretty shy then and had little to say, but he was so kind and fun and he took his time after a long show to really make me feel special.
I will hold that wonderful memory of a great entertainer and a real nice guy forever…
Wow, what a beautiful memory to treasure with you
I’m happy for you to have this chance to have met him in person… Thanks so much for sharing your experience with Red who was really a great entertainer… Have fun and cheers!
Are you old enough to remember Red Skelton? He is ne of the few stars I liked that my parents watched way (way) back when I was a kid. What a nice reminder of him you have here!
This was an e-mail sent to me by a friend and I thought it would be nice to share especially to those who was able to watch his TV shows. His humor thing is one of a kind… I like it but I have not really heard of him nor watch his TV shows…. ‘though I have enjoyed this humor mail sent to me so I shared it here
Reblogged this on OUR LIFE IN 3D and commented:
Along the lines of FRIDAY FUNNIES… Here is a funny list of one liners from one of my all-time favorite comedians, Red Skelton. Maybe some of you are old enough to remember him and his routines. He could be funny without being vulgar and curse. Go figure? Merci to Ms. Dolly for finding these, listing them, and letting me borrow them. She has a big warm blog but lots of room for more visitors and followers. Check it out and have a laugh this Friday!
Thanks so much Andy for the re-blogged