Humorous UPS Mechanic… contrib by Dean L.

Humorous UPS Mechanic

Just in case you need a laugh: Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one…a reassurance to

those of us who fly routinely in our jobs.

After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a ‘gripe sheet,’ which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS’ pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, /ever/, had an accident.

Here goes:

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.

S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.


P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.

S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.


P: Something loose in cockpit.

S: Something tightened in cockpit.


P: Dead bugs on windshield.

S: Live bugs on back-order.


P: Auto pilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent…

S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.


P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.

S: Evidence removed.


P: DME volume unbelievably loud.

S: DME volume set to more believable level.


P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.

S: That’s what friction locks are /for/.


P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.

S: IFF /always/ inoperative in OFF mode.


P: Suspected crack in windshield.

S: Suspect you’re right.


P: Number 3 engine missing.

S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.


P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!):

S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.


P: Target radar hums.

S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.


P: Mouse in cockpit.

S: Cat installed.


And the best one for last –


P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.

S: Took hammer away from midget .

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  1. Teresa Cleveland Wendel says:

    I’ve been reading your blog site, and it’s varied and fun. I love how you’ve mixed it all together. Thanks!

  2. Thanks for laugh, it was great stuff! By the way, QANTAS in Australia has never had an accident either thankfully, so maybe we should go looking for their maintenance sheets and compare! lol

    • You’re welcome and Oh yeah that will be great if you could get to look on their maintenance sheets so we have something to compare with…lol
      i’m happy you liked this post… thanks so much 🙂

  3. Haha, extremely funny! 😀

  4. Thank you for a wonderful start to a day! Loved it!

  5. Hysterical..and I’m gonna share with my pilot friend. 😉

  6. Laugh of the day! Thanks 🙂

  7. “Suspect you’re right”, “Aircraft warned to straighten up”!!! Hilarious! And taking the safety factor into consideration [that they’ve never ever had an accident!], maybe we should all do our jobs with a touch of humor!

  8. This was really a great post. It made my day filled with laughter….really good.

  9. I love people with a sense of humor!

  10. Seen this before but it still makes me laugh!! 😀

  11. incaunipocrit says:

    Reblogged this on The Blogspaper.

  12. Love it, I have an, almost, identical thing, on my facebook notes 🙂 x

  13. These mechanics need a TV show of their own!

  14. These are too funny! I love it! Thanks so much for sharing!

  15. Those are great. “took away hammer from midget.” thought I was going to start crying!

  16. LOL glad my packages are in good hands 😛

  17. LOL!! I love it!! Thanks for posting this….made my night 🙂


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